We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
