I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
