cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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