You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize