I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
