There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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