and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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