He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
