Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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