dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
