I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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