you guys were way drunker than both of me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
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Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
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Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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