So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The adults are the big ones right?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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