Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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