How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
