I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
