Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize