is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize