Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Vodka?
Forever.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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