So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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