Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
