Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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