I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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