He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
