are you still at the devil's house?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize