Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
