I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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