so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
