so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
