oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
one two three fourrrrnication!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
