She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
there is glitter all over my balls
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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