I hate your face
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
