If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
