I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
