I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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