Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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