I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
