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• (303): View more from Colorado

  New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  Ok let me change into clothes i can run in

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• (209): View more from California

  I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  so much tequila, so little girl.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?

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