Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !

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  (248): The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo ! http://tfl.nu/e5q2
  Replies (5) Good night (1386) Bad night (708)
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  (559): View more from California

  my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding

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  (559): my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding http://tfl.nu/co4h
  Replies (13) Good night (5612) Bad night (718)
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  (925): View more from California

  I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.

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  (925): I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder. http://tfl.nu/ta5a
  Replies (31) Good night (4570) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience

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  (302): dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience http://tfl.nu/d1lz
  Replies (49) Good night (631) Bad night (6256)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

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  (732): obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong. http://tfl.nu/4d0b
  Replies (19) Good night (973) Bad night (6392)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

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  (309): I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors. http://tfl.nu/cath
  Replies (10) Good night (11187) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"

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  (410): You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock" http://tfl.nu/flxw
  Replies (6) Good night (2816) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.

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  (860): i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty. http://tfl.nu/tep7
  Replies (30) Good night (14775) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?

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  (403): I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain? http://tfl.nu/msrw
  Replies (3) Good night (1850) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.

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  (715): my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina. http://tfl.nu/moie
  Replies (16) Good night (807) Bad night (1664)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.

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  (304): I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad. http://tfl.nu/mnuf
  Replies (4) Good night (1278) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Technically my penis started a fight tonight

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  (920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets
  Replies (14) Good night (1297) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon

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  (704): I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon http://tfl.nu/9347
  Replies (0) Good night (256) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)

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  (828): thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss) http://tfl.nu/ut31
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (183)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU

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  (518): ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU http://tfl.nu/vr1a
  Replies (11) Good night (533) Bad night (269)

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