Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Kareoke will never be a sober sport

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  (702): Kareoke will never be a sober sport http://tfl.nu/39pw
  Replies (7) Good night (1211) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.

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  (954): My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet. http://tfl.nu/5qcs
  Replies (48) Good night (1123) Bad night (2894)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire

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  (304): Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire http://tfl.nu/o1m1
  Replies (17) Good night (894) Bad night (5306)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You did not just nickname me "Nipples".

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  (847): You did not just nickname me "Nipples". http://tfl.nu/cizi
  Replies (22) Good night (3788) Bad night (1484)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow

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  (860): i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow http://tfl.nu/61vx
  Replies (66) Good night (717) Bad night (6148)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores

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  (609): it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores http://tfl.nu/lmvr
  Replies (10) Good night (3388) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case

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  (917): My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case http://tfl.nu/1awx
  Replies (3) Good night (1866) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We left the knife in your bed.

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  (780): We left the knife in your bed. http://tfl.nu/mwcc
  Replies (9) Good night (575) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.

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  (847): I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/tgoh
  Replies (11) Good night (1230) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...

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  (580): Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass... http://tfl.nu/ix5i
  Replies (4) Good night (684) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.

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  (704): You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now. http://tfl.nu/1b3b
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm on the job.

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  (812): The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory. (503): I'm on the job. http://tfl.nu/qjws
  Replies (6) Good night (1106) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Stop touching yourself.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???

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  (608): Stop touching yourself. (262): Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera??? http://tfl.nu/6vj4
  Replies (11) Good night (1132) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a bottle to be chill

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  and meant it

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  (604): I just told a bottle to be chill (604): and meant it http://tfl.nu/uxaa
  Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..

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  (973): I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter.. http://tfl.nu/t4wg
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (523)

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