pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
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We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN