I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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