Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah