she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.