love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
