Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
