Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
