Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
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That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
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Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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