I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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