one might say we're banned from that church
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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