i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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