i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
