is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Found the puke drawer
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
