I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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