you guys were way drunker than both of me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
