I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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