wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My bed smells like the plague
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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