I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize