so that wasnt chicken after all
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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