Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
