how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
