Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
