and you said cock pushups were impossible
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
