Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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