I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
