they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Everclear isn't food dammit
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
