She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
